Sunday, May 8, 2016

Belong...

I had one girlfriend message me on Facebook, regarding my post from last week. She mentioned very real and personal struggles that she was having in her role as a mom. Feelings that I can say with 100% certainty, I have had, and am almost certain you have too. They consume her thoughts, they invite doubt in her role as a mom and welcome insecurity as a woman. We spoke about how she is not alone in her feelings, and I too suffer at the expense of my own self worth. She is my first prayer in the morning, and throughout the day, when she pops in my head, I pray for her. It has been a pleasure, and I will continue doing it for the rest of the month. This weekend many of you got the chance to celebrate the privilege that is being a mom. It is hard. There is no way to prepare you for the role. You can be educated, you can read up and you can have the best support system in town, at your beck and call, but nothing can actually truly prepare you for the role. I don't like to think of memories before my kids because it doesn't feel right, to think of my life before them. Marcus and I will look at our kids, and have conversations about how there is no way that people love their kids like we do, because we love them so much. I'll often times have similar conversations with my own mom about that topic. I'll mention the notion that she couldn't have possibly loved me like I love the boys. She'll call me out on my ignorance, and remind me that she not only did, but does. Why did I get this blessed? How in the world did I get to live here, be born here and be loved so greatly by two amazing parents, grow up without a need, marry an amazing man and then have the gift to raise two children of my own? How, why...? Sometimes, when I get caught up in that type of thinking, my flesh runs with it. I accept the camouflage, and somehow allow myself to believe that it is a good thing, and that somehow it will lead to gratitude, demonstratively. The reality is, it is not. Satan is the biggest illusionist of all, and many times he has me fooled. Questioning God's plan for my life thus far and wondering why in the world I am not suffering like so many, is just as much of an insult to Him, as when I question why in the world so many actually are. When He placed it in my heart to lead this month in a mommy dedicated prayer time, He already knew about my friend, and how she would read my blog and lean on me for that. He already knew that it would be in those moments of her opening up to me, that I would see myself in her. He already knew that every morning when I went to Him in prayer that I would be at my weakest because I would be completely and utterly relying on Him, depending on Him, for the words coming out of my mouth. And He already knew that this time of prayer would open up my heart to the promise that if I can trust Him with the needs of my friend, and trust Him to help her in the most important role she will ever have, then I too should trust Him enough to just be grateful for how I got here. Don't you see...I was hand picked, and so were you. 

Ladies, my fellow sisters, lovers of your children, fighters in this land for a better place to leave your offspring, women of heart and soul...YOU are Beloved!

Happy Mother's Day!

Ps, I would still love an opportunity to add you to my mommy daily dedication prayer this month, not too late! (message me, email me, or send me a text)

3 comments:

  1. belinda@mail.postmanllc.net

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    1. Hello, I am so sorry that I never saw this until now. I tried to email the email provided but it isn't letting me. You can try emailing me, and I would love to pray for you.

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