Sunday, August 21, 2011

it is what it is...

I haven't decided how this whole blogging thing works, or if there really is a rule for that matter. Sometimes when I'm trying to decide what to write, I literally have a conversation with myself in my head. I tell myself about the struggle to decide and tell myself how I don't think I'm doing it right. And then me tells me that in order for your blog to be successful it must be consistent regarding all things readable. I must make sure to blog on the same day, and the topic should overlap somehow and ride the same theme. And then I stop my know it all self and say, shut up, you don't know shit, I'll write about what I want and when I want and so that is what this is.

I really hate my popcorn ceilings.

I have surrendered myself to the truth that, God did not make me this way...the TRUTH is, the glorious body He gave me has disappeared and some fat chick is boss now, as a direct result of negligent "templing" (as I like to call it when referencing my direct avoidance in dishonoring my temple and pure obsession with gluttony).

My engagement ring is broken, I'm really sad about it too, sometimes I'll look at it and think about, "what if Marcus had never given this to me?", and then I'm quickly reminded that we dated for 5 years, and nearly strangled him to the idea that marriage was next. And if he hadn't handed that sucker over, I would have surely handed him my foot in his face. Or something less suttle. Just sayn.

My husband is out with his buds tonight, and the older I get the less I care. I was never the jealous type. Look, it is a true emotion we all have, however, the wife or girlfriend that gets or shall I say, acts jealous, has never been me. And I notice now, its even less of a bother, mentally.

I want another baby.

I am a member of Pinterest, and suck at it.

My little boy got a real bed today, and I can't believe I glazed over it like it wasn't a big deal. It's a huge deal, sometimes I feel like I am just glazing. Am I doing this right? Yes, I breastfed for a year, yes my son was potty trained at 21 months, yes, he sleeps in his own bed, and always has, etc...but the other stuff, the non tasking mother stuff, am I doing it right? My little boy amazes me everyday and sometimes I feel like his accomplishments are the, my, expectation and not a milestone where true, honest and loving acknowledgment is due. I gotta get it together.

I miss soccer so much. I have never been able to watch it on tv and really enjoy it. If I can't play it, I don't want any part of it. Stupid I know.

I really got to get over the thinking that I'm the only one that knows how to do it right. My inability to allow others to help me is just plain sad.

Cooking, I mean seriously. Really? Why must I be so bad at it, and secondly, why must it be such a necessity?

I tell people that my mom used to tell me that a little man lived in my ear and when I would fall asleep he would come out, walk to the inner part of my eye and poop there, when asking about eye boogers. As if my mother was creative enough to come up with that...why? Why, lie about that? I'm pathetic.

I blog from my phone only.

Mi vida es totalmente todo lo que mis sueƱos presentaban. Y todo se lo regalo a Cristo. (Get'cher translating on...)

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

how much is enough...

My husband is back in town. Marcus was gone for 2 whole weeks. For those of you that don't know, my husband is in the airline industry and he travels about 2 to 3 times out of the year, and when he does it's overseas. This time it was Germany and Austria. Having him away means many things.

1. Adan discovers how much cooler and funner his daddy is than his mommy.

2. I quickly realize all those silly fights we have as parents, spouses, etc...are quiet the funny joke on me really, because the truth is, I can't do it alone and yea, I would miss him. Love u babe.

3. My parents are true saviors. They would do anything for their family, including putting up with an overbearing daughter and her super ooober cute kid.

4. House work, outside the home, really does belong to my mate.

5. Sex is kinda lonely when it's a party for one, love making is truly meant to be between two.

6. Always, always hoping that a little brown bag would be escorting my lover on the plane ride home.

7. Trading off the warmth of his toosh when we sleep for killer miles...thank you bizzyness class. Hola.

8. Awaiting the inevitable arguement we'll have before he clock work...every time.

9. The smell, THE SMELL. Let me all just inform you of a little something I like to call..."um, excuse me, but my man never smells", (as in bad)...I'm about to totally cross the line here, but I feel it's justified, besides my only two followers are girls, and there's only two of you..he NEVER smells, never! I have been with him for almost ten years and have been with him, you know what I'm saying...NEVER, even when he's been in his man place mentally or physically, never. The only thing my baby has piercing through his juicy pores, is lush. He is so Yummy...and I'm reminded every time he leaves.

10. The burden is on me. My husband, Marcus Sais, I love you so much. You have provided me a place to live out my dreams, a place where I can be me, a place where I don't have to worry about what anyone thinks because our family is what matters and you have created a safe place for your big and little baby to nest. When you are not with us, our lives are empty, you make our life so much fun, and you make me feel like the responsibility of our life is shared when you truly carry it alone. You protect us, and when you are away, I am alone with that and become aware of how wonderful you are at making us feel safe.
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