here is my intentional...

Almost embarrassed when I looked and realized how long it had been since I was last here.  Beyond embarrassed actually, more like mortified at the idea of returning with nothing to say, no clever segway to my photo bombs and just me blabbering about my qualms at work.  Truth is, the front has been awful heavy, with all kinds of goodness.  I'm pregnant, in case you didn't know.  Took us nearly three years to conceive this little bean, and it's a boy.  Wouldn't have it any other way, I mean, there's only room for one girl in this house, truth be told, I hope it's always me and not some floozy these boys decide to bring home one day.  I'm sort of at the stage that maybe, just maybe, there might be room for one more, but in case you didn't know, these grand kids have a pattern, and they alternate sexes, and the next one would be girl (ie. me not being the lone cookie, BIG PROBLEM). So, needless to say, whilst the doctor has her scalpel and sutures at her trained finger tips, we might have her lace up my tubes in a pretty bow and tuck those suckers away for my already lazy eggs to travel to, um, no where.  It's fine, they will be fine, they won't know any different, they already never make it where they belong anyways, lazy little suckers.  So here's what's been on the front, oh yea, and it's been accompanied by many a song jump, an intense form of the ladder choices I've made in the past.  If you are a new reader, and don't quite get it, it's okay, you will later.  Adan is 5. He starts kindergarten in the Fall. I feel so overwhelmed. There has been so much change in such a little time, all over the place, all around me, everywhere.  Life threatening, now there's a word that is thrown around way too much.  Amazing, surreal...if I hear those again, I will shoot the person regurging them into their vocabulary on the spot, and never look back.  But, if I were being at all honest with myself, those three words not only have been taking up quite the spot in my head, but have been living on the tip of my fishing rod of a tongue for a long time. And I have been baiting, almost on the daily, but I have never liked fishing.  As a matter of fact, I've only been once, and even though I actually never held the rod, I worked that task like the metaphor queen that I am.  And as I sat there, observing the pointless task that is "fishing", I started thinking about how we are all fisherman.  Some of us fish with makeup, some of us fish with words, and I my dear, am a fisherman of emotions.  I am an emotional fisherman. I am weak alone, and when I fish, I am looking for something, someone to walk with in my state of hunger.  I am so damn hungry, that sometimes when I bait my rod, I am not even taking into consideration the school that is beneath me waiting to bite, and before I know it, I have gotten so many bites, my rod has broken and I can't catch a break, literally.  Self sabotage has become the residue that lingers on my hook, but I'll be damned if I let some life threatening episode turn into some surreal event that prevents my amazing climax that is my family's ever after.  See what I did there?  Any volunteers, I mean, I'll even walk right into your bullet. 

Seeing as how it's been since October of last year since I visited my blog, I had to majorly cut down on the photo dump, you're welcome!  But in case you are at all curious, this is what's been on the low down/high ground at Ese'me.

Megan.  What can I say, I love her dearly, and she always includes me in her life events.  I feel so honored to have her as a friend and love her so much.  She doesn't need my love, or anyone's for that matter, but she has it in abundance via her friends, family and sweet husband...and now that lil Vossie is here, her cup runneth over.

JuJu.  Well, this young man, has changed so much over the years, and he excelled so much his last year of school and one of the sports that took him along for a hell of a ride was power lifting.  He kicked ass, and found his calling.

Mama bear let me snap a few of her growing belly, and I was so thankful, again, to be a part of her life event.

We were the loudest on the block, our neighbors came out wondering what all the yelling was about...oh don't mind us, just a bunch of Mexicans slapping "coscorones" on our heads to celebrate the Risen King. LOL!

Senior Pics...I met him when he was turning 5, he was going into kindergarten and now he has graduated.  I am at the end of both spectrum's with young men in my life.  Adan is where JuJu was 13 yrs ago, and time flew, and I know it will with Adan too.  I'm devastated looking forward to it.

I'm obsessed with making his birthday parties so special.  If I do anything right with my children it will be that they will know I love the crap out of them, and they will have any kind of birthday they want, and momma will always make everything.  This year it was Wild Kratts, he's obsessed, and I'd be lying if I said it was easy.  Even though I didn't sew this year, it was so darn time consuming, all those Pinterest mommas who shared their ideas, are liars.  Either way, it was a success and all 19 kids, and their families had a blast, and little bugga did too!!!

THE PROOF

See what I mean.  Dying.  I'm dying, inside, a little bit every day.