in an attempt to...

My last night at Parkland and all I thought about was, when will this shift be over? Don't get me wrong, I will miss many things...of which are listed below.

1. A GI bleeder with fresh melana justa pouring out of his/her prolapsed, hemorrhoid filled anus.

2. The CHF frequent flyer non compliant Diabetic with active DKA, whose bestfriends mothers uncles nephew keeps bringing him/her donuts and soda, which he/she chugs and proceeds to hide the evidence under his/her pillow.

3. Hearing this every Damn shift, "uh, no speaky eenglish"

4. Relying on a 26 year old, fresh out of medical school, for the lack of a better word "doctor", manage and dictate the care of an over the top critically ill person.

Then there's always...

5. The overworked and under paid staffing of our unit..."Monica, can u come get me access", "Monica, can u translate for me", "Monica, can u..."

I am relieved that this part of my life is over. I'm grateful because Parkland taught me how to be a nurse in the same way Parkland taught me that it's very good at turning its back on you.

Goodbye, and you will never swim in my brilliance again.

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wouldn't u agree?

Anything that is right and good in my life is right here. My heart is swimming with love for them, my eyes are lit with happiness when I see them and my life runs on full because of them both.

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Does it ever end?

Driving to Dallas to have lunch with family, looking back at Adan asleep in seat behind us, I started thinking, Marcus and I will be gone from this place and all he will have is the family that he creates for himself. When will we be forgotten? The day will come when no one will know who we ever were. That is okay with me, but the thought of someone one day not knowing Adan breaks me. Will those after him know about his heart and his soul that shined so bright even at the age of two?

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